I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
