idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
