She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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