i need an iv and a liver transplant
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
