i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
