Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
