Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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