I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dicks are not precious.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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