You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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