i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
