Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
