Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I deserve this hangover.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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