pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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