Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Blood and glitter go together right?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
