P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This can only be settled by a dance off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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