i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
