Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
