Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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