so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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