I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
