So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
