there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
