I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
