Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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