I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
