I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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