I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
