Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
