This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
