The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Houston, we have a squirter
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
