Even the bartender felt bad for me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize