The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
