Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
