You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
