fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
