dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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