No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
