So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize