It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
