Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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