lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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