She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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