im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
