sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
