Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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