Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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