Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
