Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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