sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
