I bet he comes in French.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
