making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
