He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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