just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So much rum. So many feels.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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