I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
