im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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