she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
