Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
