So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just had sex bonerless
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
