Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
