we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
