not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
