Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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