it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
